BDSM FAQ (Frequently Asserted Quibbles)

The Prime Directive

This is part 2 of a BDSM FAQ written by C.K. Egbert for the Feminist Current. It expresses excellently why radfems are against BDSM and why the common arguments for BDSM don’t hold water.

“But BDSM has such great standards of consent!”

Ongoing and affirmative consent involves explicit expression or active participation throughout the entire encounter. Affirmative consent means that there is not coercion, pressuring, or manipulation, and that both partners are emotionally and physically able to communicate (including their desire to stop, if that happens). Importantly, affirmative consent helps us understand non-abusive sex as sex that is wanted and not simply endured. But this is not the standard of consent used in BDSM relationships. Consent in BDSM instead appears to be based on the idea of contract agreement and lack of active resistance.

First, affirmative and ongoing consent is precluded by the practice itself of dominating or controlling another…

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QotD: “The porn industry proudly profits of the fact that many of the women in porn come away traumatized”

Anti-Porn Feminists

Kind of weird how some feminists will go out of their way to tell people that women enjoy doing porn, while the porn industry makes no attempt to hide the damage that they do. Pornhub and other mainstream sites literally have sub-genres dedicated to female porn-stars having anxiety attacks and breakdowns. There are entire websites devoted to “behind the scenes” footage of girls breaking down and crying. The porn industry proudly profits of the fact that many of the women in porn come away traumatized. It’s a sad day for our movement when some of the industry’s biggest defenders are calling themselves feminists.


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The Great Fishing Expedition 2016


Men are always thinking up new ways to intimidate and harm women. 2016 will be no different. We’ve come to expect this from the men’s rightsers but it also comes from transactivists, who are aligning themselves closer to MRA’s than ever before. The TransAdvocate has started a new 2016 feature called Conversations. Two men, John Stoltenberg and Cristan Williams, editor of the Transadvocate, are attempting to rewrite radical feminism, to make it more palatable for men. *yawn*

I found out about this new development on Twitter, when I came across Lucyfire’s tweet.

Cristan Williams: a man bent on rewriting radical feminism to suit himself

I find even the name of this new feature hilarious because women aren’t part of the conversation and with all the transactivists no…

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Libfem’s Critical MRA Analysis: Females Who Want Space Are Sluts, Whores, Cunts and Nazis


So it appears one woman has finally had enough of me and my pesky ‘women wanting things’ (spaces) and has decided that not only am I cult leader (projection is a funny thing) but I’ve been LYING to her about the fact that males have been chipping away at women’s spaces for a long time, and of course this year once again taking their stalkerish mantrums to Michfest.

To make it clear I hardly know this woman. I’ve watched but a couple of her videos on Youtube and that’s it. I’ve spoken to her in comment sections a few times and she’s been to this blog and left some comments. Other than that I don’t know her at all except she’s part of some gang on Youtube that has it in for me because I think prostitution is male violence against women and males aren’t females. I honestly don’t care…

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Intersectional ‘Male Feminist’ CaptainAndy Vs. Aboriginal Women


CaptainAndy from Youtube wants women to live lives of sexual slavery. He is the typical liberal male who will rail against racism but thinks it’s totally ok that Asian, Black, and Aboriginal little girls are groomed, pimped, and trafficked for men’s sexual violence. Women are like objects. He thinks women are like drugs (property). I had to correct him. The remarks in quotes are mine.

captain andy ignorance

NOTALLMENZ! Did you notice how suddenly this ‘male feminist’ claims not all prostituted women are actually women? Of course the solution is to argue something that means absolutely nothing because we KNOW the majority of prostituted and trafficked are WOMEN and children and the majority of buyers are MALE. CaptainAndy doesn’t let facts get in the way of a good argument for enslaving women. He’s such a ‘feminist.’

CaptainAndy thinks if he gives you a couple dollars or a hamburger it’s totally ok to use…

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Surprise surprise, the BDSM scene is as much a patriarchal, victim blaming rape culture as the rest of our patriarchal, victim blaming rape culture

Anti-Porn Feminists

The BDSM sub-culture is often held up as being somehow ‘better’ or ‘safer’ than the ‘vanilla’ mainstream, and even as being ‘feminist’, because it supposedly operates a ‘culture of consent’ where sex is actively negotiated, boundaries are respected and ‘no’ (in the form of a safe word) means ‘no’.*

An article up at Salon today invalidates this, with prominent women within the ‘community’, including women described as ‘sex educators’ only now (after almost a decade in one woman’s case) standing up and talking about the abuse they experienced within the ‘scene’.

[Maggie Mayhem,] 27-year-old sex educator and fetish model has never before publicly shared the story of her sexual assault, but the purpose of this evening’s event, a “consent culture” fundraiser, is so that she can start telling it, again and again. Her mission, along with fellow activist and sex worker Kitty Stryker, is to raise awareness about what they…

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“Transgenderism: The Latest Anti-Feminist Wedge of the Left”

Anti-Porn Feminists

At least since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, Lefties have been rankled by the presence of feminists among their ranks.

But purging these uppity women presents a challenge. Overtly denigrating feminists is risky: it can be perceived as misogynistic, and cedes too much political ground on issues lefties like to call their own – such as abortion rights.

Unfortunately, prolific and global male crimes of incest, rape, prostitution, domestic violence, female genital mutilation, child marriage and acid attacks make the feminist cause a bit too justified, and a bit too popular.

So the Left is stuck with having to marginalise through covert means the political movement organised to resist male supremacy and its violent war against women and children.

An effective covert tactic has been to play wedge politics.

Marxists, peaceniks, greenies, queers, animal libbers and some anti-racism groups over three decades have been remarkably united in their commitment…

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Welcome to My Blog!

Thank you to everyone visiting my new blog. This is my first attempt at doing this, while I currently have no college education in writing, so please refrain from being too judgmental of my grammar and punctuation, and I apologize for any mistakes in my writing. I hope to gain more skills in writing so I can continue blogging, but for the time being, you probably won’t see too many posts coming from me.

I am much better at expressing my thoughts through writing, and have done well with it in the past, so I figured it’d be a good idea for me to take advantage of this great medium in order to get my voice heard online. Connecting with, and learning from other women’s voices along the way.

So please come back to visit my blog in the future for any improvements. I’d also really appreciate any feedback you have to offer. If you have any objections to anything I say, please respect me and my privacy, and this radical feminist community of bloggers, by responding to me in my comment section for a constructive dialogue. Harassers will not be tolerated.

~ wolfwomanofthenorth

Gas Mark Six


Here’s something I wrote when I was asked to speak alongside Sheila Jeffreys, who was speaking about her book “Gender Hurts”, about how transgenderism harms women. In the end, I didn’t say all this, but for those of you who are interested, here it is..


“For the longest of time I told no-one. It is only in the past few years that I have found the words to describe my experience. Thank you, Sheila Jeffreys, and the Radical Feminist community of bloggers for the gift of words.


I used to have an online friend (also a partner of a man who thought he was a woman) who likened the experience of being partnered to a transgender to the frog who is put into the pot of water and the heat gradually turned up till cooked – a deliberate programme of de-sensitisation as each limit is compromised or ignored, and…

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“The Vice President of a group that officially advised a top UN body on its prostitution policy was jailed earlier this year for sex trafficking. So why is Amnesty International about to adopt their policy proposals?”

Anti-Porn Feminists

On Thursday 12th March 2015, 64 year old Alejandra Gil was convicted in Mexico City of trafficking and sentenced to fifteen years in prison. Gil reportedly controlled a pimping operation that exploited around 200 women. Known as the “Madam of Sullivan”, she was one of the most powerful pimps of Sullivan Street, an area of Mexico City notorious for prostitution. Gil and her son were connected with trafficking networks in Tlaxcala state – site of Mexico’s “epicenter for sex trafficking.”

Madai, a twenty-four year old woman who was trafficked to Mexico City, was one of those who gave evidence against Gil. Speaking to a reporter in Mexico she said, “[Gil’s] job was to watch us from the car. Her son or her took us to hotels and charged us fees. She kept records. She had a list where she kept records of everything. She even wrote down how long you…

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In the Booth with Ruth – Rebecca Mott, Exited Prostituted Woman and Abolitionist

Ruth Jacobs

Rebecca Mott

How did you become involved in supporting the abolition of prostitution? 

I first started campaigning for abolition of prostitution after the murders of several prostitutes in Ipswich. That was very triggering for me, but at the time, I was unclear why. I was very angry, incessant with rage, for it seemed that the media is, and was, only interested in the murders of the prostituted when it is in connection with the sensation of a serial killer. When I started my blog, it was with unclear memories and feelings, and of knowing that most murdered prostituted women and girls are never recorded – they just vanish from existence. It is to those disappeared that my motivation to fight for abolition is founded on. I am sick of the vast majority of the prostituted being made into sub-human in life, and in death, being made to vanish.

I also became…

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If full decriminalization will protect women in prostitution from these men… why do these men want it?

A Trick Of The Trade

     The Argument

The Nordic model? It won’t work. You can’t decriminalize women and girls but criminalize the men who buy sexual access to them. It drives prostitution underground and puts them at risk of violence. Decriminalize ALL aspects of the sex trade to protect women and girls against violence and exploitation.”

Human rights group Amnesty International is currently risking everything it stands for to endorse The Argument. But if The Argument is true, why do violent and exploitative men want decriminalization?


‘LikeRedHeads’ is the name used by a man on the Toronto Escort Review Boards (TERB). He has written over 1000 posts on the site, including reviews of the women he pays for.

He is John No.9 in The Invisible Men Project (Canada). [Read the full review here]

If the Nordic model would just facilitate him doing this to women, and full decriminalization would stop him – he must support the Nordic model. Right?


1. He petitioned against…

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BDSM is Violence Against Women

BDSM is the normalization of domestic violence.

Liberation Collective

This post contains graphic descriptions.

Radical feminists often argue that BDSM practice is about degrading, humiliating, violating and torturing women.  It is patriarchal violence against women—whether it occurs in your bedroom, on your computer screen, or is simulated during your lunchtime book reading.

We do not blame women who participate in it, but we will analyze it through a feminist lens.

BDSM is the legitimization of domestic violence against women. Case in point: The Feminist and the Cowboy.  Author Alisa Valdes wrote an erotic semi-autobiographical book about a dominant lover who violently f’ked her under the guise of consensual “play”. After her book was released, Vales wrote a blog post detailing the real life abuse that the “cowboy” inflicted on her. Though the abuse was framed as consensual in her book, her real life experience with the cowboy involved being raped, verbally abused, threatened, and abandoned once he…

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Over 400 Global Advocates Issue a Call to Amnesty International in Open Letter (CATW)

Amnesty Don't turn

CATW International, July 23, 2015

Global Advocates to Amnesty International: Vote No on Policy to Legalize Pimps, Brothel Owners and ‘Johns’

Gloria Steinem, Eve Ensler, Meryl Streep Join Survivors of the Sex Trade on Campaign to Stand on Side of Human Rights and Women’s Equality

New York, July 23, 2015 – More than 400 national and international women’s rights groups, including the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women (CATW), human rights advocates, medical doctors, actors and directors, fashion designers, faith-based organizations and concerned individuals from over 30 countries signed an open letter to Amnesty International expressing their dismay at its policy proposal calling for the decriminalization of the sex industry. If passed at Amnesty’s International Council Meeting in Dublin from Aug. 7–11, this policy would in effect advocate the legalization of pimping, brothel owning and sex buying — the pillars of a $99 billion global sex industry.

Within 24…

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Amnesty International is Predictably Fucked


Amnesty International’s recent history of fast-tracking the decriminalisation of pimps and ‘johns’ has earned it’s reputation as devious, corrupt and sex trade infiltrated.

Last year, members drew attention to the appallingly bad consultation process that was used to garner support for the draft policy which was co-drafted by the pimp Douglas Fox.

At the 2014 National Annual General Meeting, both survivors of the sex trade  and human rights activists, were treated equally appallingly when protesting their democratic right to present alternative resolutions to the policy .

Two board members of Amnesty International Australia  in particular have drawn our attention and proved themselves allies of both the Scarlet Alliance and the Australian Sex Party (on paper  the ASP is currently deregistered , but most certainly not defunct.)

Nothing has changed in Amnesty International’s behaviour as evidenced by this years NAGM outcome as you can see here:

To get to…

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Prevalence II: On Prison Placement

Fears about transgender rights to go into women’s spaces are not completely unfounded. They pose a serious conflict with women’s rights that the general public needs to take into consideration.


One of the issues on which trans activists and feminist activists most vehemently clash is that of transgender and transsexual prisoners.  According to trans activists, these prisoners must be housed according to self-declared gender identity as soon as possible.  In the past, when feminist activists have expressed alarm and outrage that prisoners born with penises would be allowed into spaces containing some of the most vulnerable women in society (2/3 of whom have not committed a crime of violence), they have been told that their alarm is misplaced.

Besides, only .3% of the population is trans, and even if a person occasionally abused the system, they’d be so far removed from one another, very unlikely to even be at the same prison, making any abuses easy to spot and hard to organize a coverup of.  The most powerful prison gangs, which can often shield particular members from scrutiny or serving…

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